Get Thee to a Punnery
Anonymous parody of Shakespeare’s sonnet style,
Buzz off, Banana Nose; Relieve mine eyes
obviously aimed at Jimmy Durante (“Old Banana Nose”)
who loved inflicting painfully bad puns on his audiences,
and after the worst ones, laugh and say “I got a million of ’em!”.
Of hateful soreness, purge mine ears of corn;
Less dear than army ants in apple pies
Art thou, old prune-face, with thy chestnuts worn,
Dropt from thy peeling lips like lousy fruit;
Like honeybees upon the perfum’d rose
They suck, and like the double-breasted suit
Are out of date; therefore, Banana Nose,
Go fly a kite, thy welcome’s overstayed;
And stem the produce of thy waspish wits:
Thy logick, like thy locks, is disarrayed;
Thy cheer, like thy complexion, is the pits.
Be off, I say; go bug somebody new,
Scram, beat it, get thee hence, and nuts to you.