“Look, son! It’s one of nature’s most beautiful sights: the convoy!” -- Homer Simpson
Note from Joe: This silly song was a huge #1 hit. It started a zillion-dollar CB radio craze that lasted several years, and it anticipated “rap” music’s spoken lyrics, corny refrains, and irreverent attitude towards law and order. Ah, those were the days! Here is the original blockbuster recording as an MP3 file! (5.29 MB)
Uh, breaker one-nine, this here’s the Rubber Duck. You got a copy on me, Pig Pen, c’mon? . . . Uh, yeah, 10-4, Pig Pen, fer shure, fer shure. . . By golly, it’s clean clear to Flag Town, c’mon. . . Yeah, that’s a big 10-4 there, Pig Pen, yeah, we definitely got the front door, good buddy. . . Mercy sakes alive, looks like we got us a convoy. . .
Was the dark of the moon on the sixth of June
In a Kenworth pullin’ logs,
Cab-over Pete with a reefer on,
And a Jimmy haulin’ hogs:
We was headin’ for bear on I-One-Oh,
’Bout a mile outta Shaky Town.
I says, “Pig Pen, this here’s the Rubber Duck,
And I’m about to put the hammer down.”
By the time we got into Tulsa Town,
We had eighty-five trucks in all.
But there’s a roadblock up on the cloverleaf,
And them bears was wall-to-wall.
Yeah, them smokies was thick as bugs on a bumper;
They even had a bear in the air!
I says, “Callin’ all trucks, this here’s the Duck.
We’re about to go huntin’ bear.”
Uh, you wanna give me a 10-9 on that, Pig Pen? . . . Negatory, Pig Pen; you’re still too close. . . Yeah, them hogs is startin’ to close up my sinuses. Mercy sakes, you better back off another ten. . .
Well, we rolled up Interstate 44
Like a rocket sled on rails.
We tore up all of our swindle sheets,
And left ’em sittin’ on the scales.
By the time we hit that Chi-town,
Them bears was a-gettin’ smart:
They’d brought up some reinforcements
From the Illinois National Guard.
There’s armored cars, and tanks, and jeeps,
And rigs of every size!
Yeah, them chicken coops was full of bears,
And choppers filled the skies!
Well, we shot the line and we went for broke
With a thousand screamin’ trucks,
And eleven long-haired Friends of Jesus
In a chartreuse micro-bus.
Uh, Rubber Duck to Sodbuster, come on. . . Yeah, 10-4, Sodbuster: listen, you wanna put that micro-bus in behind that suicide jockey? . . . Yeah, he’s haulin’ dynamite, and he needs all the help he can get. . .
Well, we laid a strip for the Jersey shore
And prepared to cross the line.
I could see the bridge was lined with bears,
But I didn’t have a doggone dime!
I says, “Pig Pen, this here’s the Rubber Duck.
We just ain’t a-gonna pay no toll!”
So we crashed the gate doing ninety-eight!
I says, “Let them truckers roll! 10-4.”
Uh, 10-4, Pig Pen, what’s your twenty? . . . OMAHA?!? Well, they oughta know what to do with them hogs out there fer shure. . . . Well, mercy sakes, good buddy, we gonna back on outta here, so keep the bugs off your glass and the bears off your... tail. . . We’ll catch you on the flip-flop. . . This here’s the Rubber Duck on the side. . . We gone. ’Bye,’bye.